I have this awesome idea for a story line. I think when I have a little more time (summer) I'll get around to actually writing it.
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Anyway, there's this boy who is obsessed with this other guy. and I mean it, he's extremely obsessed. In fact, that's probably an understatement in itself. He obviously idolizes this other guy and is convinced that he'd do practically anything for him. He is insecure and apprehensive, never daring to cross the line to make his "god" upset... and all the while determined to do anything and everything in his power to get the guy to accept him. For as long as he has known this other guy, he has tried to become just like him. He looks up to him. He feels if he can relate, he can be loved. There are so many unoriginal thoughts that boil within his fake plastic mind, yet he does not possess the mental capacity to realize such things. He is a disgrace to his idol and a pitiful embarrassment to his intelligence. Constantly over exaggerating what are such simple and meek thoughts. He is happy when his beloved is happy, and he, whether consciously or subconsciously, undoubtedly has brought about a deep [and often unnecessary] depression in order to relate. When his icon writes, he must write. What he reads, he must read.
The boy has extremely low self-esteem and does not know his place in society. He thinks he has escaped the ignorance (or at least pieces of ignorance) that dwell in his society. Yet he does not realize how stupid he seems when he projects his ideas. He does fails to comprehend that many others realize such things and have accepted them, as they should be accepted. With exaggeration, he makes a fool of himself, yet it does not matter so long as his superstar is still slightly in his grasp.
He has a mental condition and he does [surprisingly] realize that something is simply... different about him. Yet somehow, he lacks the common sense to do anything about it, and in doing so, brings countless more days of grief to his infatuation. He believes he possesses a feeling, an emotion, for this being... a feeling that cannot even be described as love. For he is confused as to whether or not it is actually love, or perhaps something greater. Because of this, one of his greatest fears is losing the one he submits to time after time. He is weak, and does not care if he shows it. Nor does he care if his precious is made uncomfortable when placed so high above him. No, he does not realize, or rather care, much at all.
He is selfish and knows that he is selfish. In no way does he have any respect for the wishes and views of his fetish. He will continue to need. He must know everything, all for his own pleasure and satisfaction. A hypocrite by nature, and a deficiency by default. He dare not stray from the ground, made golden upon the footsteps of a true hero. His hero may stumble, fall, and break... changing himself into something completely new. With new realizations. Altered and abandoned beliefs. Yet, as these realizations occur, as these beliefs are altered and abandoned, he will embrace whatever may surface. He is obligated to. For he is too dependant to live within his own meager and bland life.
He has spoiled himself, and he has ruined his life. Never will he do what he wants to do... it will always be for someone else. It needs to be. He needs it to be.
He cannot see a day in which he knows the face of his cherished will never be seen again. He will always refuse, doing whatever it takes to prevent such a thought.
Never can he be without a GOD. His existence rests upon a sole being, who is the only one who has ever [and ever will] understand him... or so he has convinced himself.
He is a well-rounded disappointment.
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I'm too tired to write up the other character profiles today. Maybe I'll get around to it tomorrow. I'm thinking, for the conclusion, about having the "idol" or "god" kill himself because he can't take the pressure anymore. As in, the idea of going another year, or even semester, seeing this "shadow" in his life... is enough to drive him to the point of pure insanity and irrationality.
Ooo, or then maybe... all of this can come about when he figures out [with the help of his therapist] that his "stalker" has been a major cause for all of his emotional distress. That he has spent multiple sessions passionately expressing the situation, along with his emotions. I think both him and his therapist will end up agreeing that any further contact will undeniably prevent further progress. Maybe he'll even have a meeting with his therapist and parents on the issue, in order to figure out what can be done.
I guess in other words, the protagonist (the "god") has been emotionally tattered inside and will continue to be until the only available solution is to destroy whatever is left untattered. His thoughts are invisible to everyone else, including his disciple... but perhaps with the exception of his therapist. It'll be interesting to see if I decide to make the guy kill himself or I decide that his stalker will perish from his life with a genuine act of respect and dignity. What do you think?
Any suggestion for a title is always welcome!! Pretty interesting, eh? | 
